Badbutt update

HI GUYS!!! I remembered my password!! So it is now October 22 and looks like I went through with my move to LA. This has not been an easy move. I have not gone through one week where I have not broke down and cried at least three times. I have been through many many trials and tribulations I have gone through moments where I felt so alone. I have gone through moments where I felt like I needed to give up. I have gone through moments where I feel like my back was against the wall no one was there to help. i've gone through a dozen heart breaks. I've gone through moments where I just want to delete all my social media and runaway. But here I stand still trying and still moving forward sometimes I sit back and think like how the hell did I get this far. What inside of me keeps me going and honestly I can't quite tell you there's this gut feeling. This gut feeling that tells me come on just keep going you got this and that's the only reason why im still trying. Since I've been out of the army which has been since June 17, 2015 and I learned so much. But most of all I learned so much about myself still learning actually I went through a stage where I felt like I needed to fit in with my look. The stage was probably the worst thing I could've possibly went through. There was even a time where I hated it looking at myself in the mirror.  A time where I stop making skits because looking at myself made me disgusted. I don't know what it is about society but with all these iconic figures we look up to and makes us feel less because we don't look like them but I feel like my purpose in life is to change that. I just want to hug everyone who has insecurities with their looks. Because I can honestly say I know what it feels like and I want you to pray on it I want you to ask for forgiveness because you guys are all beautiful in your own way and no one should be allowed to tell you different. Anyways so I'm out of the army and life is been everything but easy I can tell you that every day it's a little less stressful and I hurt a little less. But what is happiness if you don't feel sadness. What really is the feeling of winning without a huge sacrifice and I came from immigrant parents are hard-working immigrants parents who love me so much that they pushed me crazy limits.  I didn't realize it at the time but look at me now guys if there's one person who can tell you anything is possible it's me though my parents could possibly afford nice clothes I grew up shopping at Goodwill for school clothes not really knowing what shopping at the mall was like.going to McDonald's was even a blessing and mind you it wasn't because my parents couldn't afford it they were probably just being smart with their money and I left my hometown.  And I daydreamed every day to become the person I am today and I worked hard for it. no I'm not the richest yet. But who's to say I won't be. I've met so many people in the last year people I have looked up to, people I've seen through a tiny screen on my phone and every new connection only motivates me more it's like this flame inside of my body that  keeps growing. I just want everyone to see how hard I work and all the work that I put in if I can motivate one person just one person to not give up on their dreams then my job here is done. Sadness is a part of life guys. I want you all to see the full story the struggle because struggle is such a beautiful thing we would not be who we are today without the struggle life is such an emotional roller coaster. I'm an open book I don't care how dumb I look or all my enemies still checking on me to see me fall. I might fall. I might struggle but I will never give up. I might cry and bitch about how hard it is but at the end of the day I'm gonna wake up and try again until my ass is swimming in success !!! I will be the best me  and hope you guys try hard too ! Well I think that's enough for tonight if you guys have any recommendations of what I should blog about next or what you want to know about me drop some comments k love you guys bye